I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
