I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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