Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize