Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
