would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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