Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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