8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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