So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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