why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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