you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
