Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
