I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
