Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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