We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
