i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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