Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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