People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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