Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
