Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
