guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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