are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
me + whiskey = a bad person
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
