the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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