who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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