Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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