He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
