please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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