have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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