i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
