shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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