So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
