Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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