Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
