Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
