I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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