you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
