we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
