I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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