Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
