Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
