Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize