He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
