their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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