Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize