I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
