Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
