This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
