I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
