Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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