Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
