She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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