in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
