my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He better not be in your backpack
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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