I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
