so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So much rum. So many feels.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
