Slut skills are useful in every country.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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