piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
